Bain Read online

  When his hand on my waist tightens, I know that I need to take a step back. This isn’t a place I’m willing to enter. I shouldn’t sleep with a trainer, even if my future is undecided. That lesson had been learned since Scott, the ex-friend.

  I take two steps back and collect myself. Bain offers me his water bottle, I accept. Once done rehydrating he turns on his heels and begins jogging again. By the time I figure out how to restart the song he interrupted he’s a block ahead of me.

  That’s okay, though.

  I’ll catch up to him and then beat his ass.

  I won by steps and I beat the timing of the playlist. I should’ve let him win because as out of breath as I am, grappling with the likes of him sounds wonderful. My hormonal drive is insane. I wonder if I approached him how interested he’d be in a random hook-up.

  I shake my head. Those thoughts need to stay away—far away.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rumer is a nuisance—one that has the possibility of changing life as I know it and getting in my way. A damned nuisance that I can’t afford. Her tightly toned body is a tease. The way she was swinging her hips as she jogged drove me crazy. I need to take a step back and have Jude train her, after all. As much as I don’t want him to. Jude’s too young, too new in this game and I don’t want Rumer to start picking up his bad training habits. Such as knocking out people while they’re unaware the fight is still happening.

  I’m not saying he purposely hit her to harm her, but he was annoyed the attention wasn’t on him. To get Rumer’s eyes back on him, Jude acted out like a child and put her in harm’s way—thus giving me no choice but to train her while I’m out of the ring for the next few weeks.

  Lawson has enough on his plate as it is.

  “How’re you feeling?” I ask her, as she folds her body in half, out of breath.

  “Just peachy.” She replies while gasping for air.

  “Here drink this,” I hand her my half-filled water bottle.

  I can’t help but think of her lips wrapped around my cock as her lips close around the nozzle of my water bottle. She downs it.

  All of it.

  I’m jealous of a fucking water bottle.

  My water bottle.

  Ridiculous, Bain. Fucking ridiculous.

  As she hands me back my water bottle I yank it from her. Not on purpose, but the strange emotions I feel are getting out of hand.

  “Sorry.” I apologize…getting jealous of a water bottle because it touched her moist lips before mine did is insane.

  Rumer’s going to drive me to drink.

  Rarely do I consume alcohol because it’s an enemy to my body and I work hard to keep what I have in shape.

  “Weight-lifting time. I’ll spot you, you spot me. We’ll work on our lower half today. Tomorrow will be arms, back and chest—and some grappling. We’ll also do some cardio. We’ll jog about two and a half miles. You have to make sure to up your calorie intake. Make sure you’re getting a lot of protein. I suggest drinking protein shakes as well. I’ll go over all of this with you tomorrow in depth. Today was kind of sprung on me so I didn’t have much time to think about a personalized training program for you. What might work for me, might not work for you. The longer we train together, the more I’ll know about your body.” I tell Rumer as we walk to the weight lifting area in Lawson’s gym.

  I’m pretty sure the five mile run that turned into a race has me delusional because I swear I see Rumer shiver at my words about knowing her body.

  Get with it, Bain.

  “I’ll make sure to buy some protein mix and groceries. I’m not a newbie when it comes to bulking up, Bain.” Rumer replies.

  “Well, fuck me. I have someone experienced in my presence.”

  Okay, that came out wrong and I sounded like a complete dick. As I begin to apologize for the third time since I’ve met this woman, she interrupts me.

  With laughter.

  She fucking laughs. And it sounds beautiful. Her laugh fits her and it makes her entire face beam with happiness.

  I want to see it more. Her smile. This emotion inside of me comes unfurling and slams into my hardened heart—my highly guarded heart.

  A heart I thought only existed because of Samantha.

  I freeze at the realization that this is something I haven’t felt in a long time. A feeling I thought I wouldn’t feel ever again. A feeling I had long since given up hope on experiencing.

  I don’t want it to disappear.

  Sadly, it’s also a feeling I can’t allow myself to act on.

  Not if she’s going to be under Lawson’s management. It’d only make things awkward and its unprofessional. Fuck—that sounds hypocritical, seeing as how Lawson’s involved in my everyday life in and outside of the gym.

  Cant. Go. There. Ever.

  “Umm, let’s start with fifty pounds of weight. We can go from there, see what you can handle.”

  This isn’t going to end well.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Listen, tomorrow I start at my new job and I have to be there by eight in the morning. Do you think we could start earlier?” I ask Bain while we walk to our cars.

  “Sure, that’s not a problem, Be here at three.”

  “Three—as in three in the morning?” I ask him exasperated.

  “Yup. Bright and early. You want to train then we’re training. This is how we in the big leagues do it. Training is part of our daily life. You have to commit to it and keep at it.”

  “Fine, I’ll be here.” I huff.

  “Go home and take a hot bath. It will help your sore muscles. Then get some rest. I’ll see you before the sun rises.” With that Bain hops in his car and dries away.

  Three in the fucking morning? When asking I thought he’d maybe say five. I didn’t think we’d need five hours of daily training to be committed. That’s not how they did it back home.

  Then again, no one ever succeeded or made it big back home.

  But I will.

  “I’m glad I caught you! I’m headed out tonight with some friends to a bar around the corner. You should join us.” Charlie says from her doorway.

  “Honestly, I’m beat. Bain whooped my ass today and all I want is a hot bath and sleep. I have to be up early.”

  “Oooooh, share details. Is he as hot in real life as he is on T.V.?”

  “Even hotter, Charlie. Have fun at the bar.” I say while stepping into my apartment and shutting the door.

  He’s too attractive and I have to find a way to kick him from my mind. Maybe I should join Charlie at the bar for a little bit tonight and try to find a deterrent in a different man.

  I open my door and find Charlie still standing where I left her, “On second thought—I’ll join you, but only for a little bit. I need to find a man. I’m going to take a bath and get a nap in. Knock on my door to give me an hour warning and I’ll get ready.”

  “Go get in the bath. You’ve got four hours before I wake you up.”

  I enter my apartment, strip my shitty workout clothes off (as Bain had pointed out) and throw them in the garbage bag that’s sitting on the floor of my new (and first) apartment.

  Next week I should receive my first paycheck and I’ll buy a garbage can. I mentally add that to my list of many other things I have yet to purchase along with some new workout clothes.

  Naked, I walk to my bathroom and turn on the hot water while plugging the hold in my bathtub. I was fortunate to get an apartment that had not only a shower, but a tub. Most of the apartments in this building are studios—except for mine and Charlie’s.

  It also makes the rent a bit higher. I would’ve opted for a studio to save money, but this one had opened up and they were willing to work with me on the security payment. There aren’t a lot of places in Philadelphia that’d work with me doing payments.

  I took what I could get.

  What I could get just happened to be something quite nice.

  “Rumer, wake your ass up. I’ve been banging on your door for h
alf an hour. You need to get ready if you want to go.” I wake to Charlie screaming through my door.

  Shit.

  I hadn’t planned on sleeping that long.

  “I’m up, I’m up. Give me fifteen and I’ll be right out.” I yell back to her while yanking clothes out of my backpack that sits on the floor next to my makeshift bed.

  I’ve never been a girly girl. I’m not one into make-up or any of that other shit, but I do appreciate sex when the rare mood hits me so I’ve always made sure to have one or two seductive outfits on hand. I don’t wear them often enough to be worn in.

  I throw on stretchy black dress its length ends right before my knees. Then I add an old worn belt to accessorize and throw on some blue flats. If I’m going to be standing in a bar for any amount of time I’m going to be in flats because sneakers won’t go.

  I check myself in the mirror. I only own some lip-gloss so I apply a light coat and then run my fingers through my mid back length hair separating, any knots that may have gotten in there while I slept. I grab some bobby pins off the bathroom sink counter and pin my hair up in place.

  A few strands come loose and I tuck them behind my ear. I grab my wallet and keys off the kitchen counter and lock my apartment door.

  “Damn girl, you look hot! Who knew you owned any female clothing.” Charlie exclaims.

  “Yeah, yeah…Where are we headed?”

  “Well, aren’t you in a hurry to get laid.”

  “Only in a hurry to get back here, do the deed then sleep.” I smile.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What in the fuck is she doing here?” I say to no one in particular. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.

  I see Rumer dancing with another girl—a redhead with an agreeable body, but she’s not my type. No one’s been my time for a few years. No one, but Sara.

  Which reminds me why I left the house and asked Jade to keep an eye on Samantha. I’d originally planned on driving around to clear my thoughts. I hate remembering that day. I hate that it won’t just go away. That my mind won’t forget about it and my heart refuses to forget her.

  Losing her almost killed me inside. If it weren’t for Samantha, I don’t think I would’ve been able to continue on with life. Samantha was and is still my anchor in this fucked up world.

  I spy on Rumer, holding a full glass of Jack in my hand—my first drink that I haven’t even sipped from. A drink I know that I’ll probably leave on the bar counter still untouched when I carry Rumer’s ass out of here. I think back to the day my world came crumbling down.

  “Who?” I whispered into the air.

  It was Lawson who told me.

  The only one with enough strength to carry us both through this nightmare.

  “Sara.”

  I screamed at the world.

  I broke at the suffering, sobbing.

  I shook in pain.

  This was too much for one person to handle.

  Waking up on a cot in the hallway of a hospital only solidified what had happened in my mind. I had hoped it wasn’t real, just a horrifying nightmare. All I knew was that Sara was gone.

  That was enough to cause me to break.

  My heart shattered, my mind frozen.

  “You’re awake.” Lawson said from beside me more as a statement than a question.

  “What happened?” I croaked out, remaining motionless on the bed.

  I don’t want to live.

  I don’t want to get up.

  Just let me die here, I want to scream.

  “There was a car accident, some guy ran a red light. I’m not going to go into details right now, but you understand. Sara passed away on impact,” He choked up, tears streaming down his face as well as mine. I didn’t think the tears would ever stop.

  “Samantha is in surgery now. They say she’ll make it through the surgery, but the next twenty four hours will tell if she’ll survive. This is unfair and heartbreaking, Bain. I’m feeling your pain right now, but you’ve got to hold it together for Sammie. Sara would want you to. I’m here for you and so is Jade. Your parents are in the waiting room and Griffin is on his way. He caught a red-light flight out of here.” Law continued to explain.

  Survive?

  How?

  Surviving doesn’t feel like an option. How can I continue on without my soulmate? We have a life, a stable and happy one. What if Samantha doesn’t survive?

  Then I’ll have nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  My world has faded to black, angry and painful. Anguish and heartbreak at the loss of my one and only pummeled into my chest.

  This pain is consuming me.

  “Bain, you need to snap out of it. Once Samantha’s out of the clear I’ll take you away from here. I swear to God, I’ll help you through this—but you need to stand up and sit in that waiting room with us. For Samantha. I don’t want the doctors to sedate you again, that wasn’t right. You should’ve had the option of staying conscious for this.”

  “I don’t think I can…I can’t live. I can’t. Not without her,” I sobbed, “Why?” I screamed.

  Lawson pulled me into his arms and patted my back while I sobbed onto his shoulder. I don’t know how much time passed before I slowly made my way to the waiting room to join my family, all I know is that Lawson was the one beside me. Carrying me through this.

  The full glass of Jack tempts me. I shouldn’t have ordered it, nor should I have gone back to that memory. That turning point in my life. For a while there I sunk into despair, only functioning on auto-pilot. If it weren’t for Lawson and Jade I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be half as good a parent to Samantha without them showing me how.

  My parents were there too, but they live a good hour away. They’re in retirement. I couldn’t ask them to pick up and move here for me, not when I already had such a stable circle of people surrounding me.

  Griffin moved in temporarily until mysteriously something bad went down between Lawson and him, neither were willing to discuss it then nor discuss it now. Griffin only visits on birthdays and holidays, always staying closed off from Lawson and I.

  It’s a relationship I wish I could fix, but don’t know how.

  And here I sit watching Rumer, Lawson’s new found project shake her ass on the dance floor with the strange redhead. She evokes feelings in me that I dislike—unneeded wants that I’ve been fine not having. As much as I consciously know that I can’t go there—that I can’t have what I want—I can’t stop watching her. The need hasn’t gone away…maybe in time it will fade.

  I hope not to eat those last words.

  I debate on leaving without approaching Rumer or going over there and hauling her ass out of here. I should bring her home because she has to wake up early to train and then start her new job. It’s a hard decision.

  It could cause her to incorrectly think I care, although she doesn’t give me the impression that she’s a clingy woman or one who reads too far into things. But she damn well could be and that wouldn’t be a good thing for me.

  When I see a guy approach her and he begins to rub on her ass my decision’s made for me. The guy looks to be a creep and I don’t trust creeps.

  I leave my untouched glass of Jack on the counter (as I had predicted) and approach the redhead to sneakily whisper in her ear, “I’m Bain and I’m taking Rumer home.” She nods her head in agreement, thus giving me my cue that she won’t try to cause a scene when I carry Rumer’s fine ass out of here.

  I shove the guy back away from Rumer, pick her up and shove her over my shoulder. A few questioning glares stare at me, but I don’t give any fucks. I walk out of the bar with her in place. She doesn’t realize the position she’s in until the cold night air hits her thighs.

  “Bain? Is that you?” I hear her ask.

  “Yup.”

  “Put me down right now.”

  “Nope.”

  “Who do you think you are?”

  “I’m a friend and a friend doesn’t let one
be attacked by creepy men.”

  “He wasn’t creepy and he surely wasn’t attacking me. You’re crazy. Put me down.”

  She’s lucky we’ve reached my car so I drop her to her feet. Damn, she smells good—like creamy vanilla and sweet peaches. She’s also lucky I had nothing to drink so that I can drive her ass home.

  “He was all over you and the gleam in his eyes was sickening. He was a predator, I’m positive. You should be thanking me. I did you a favor.”

  “He wanted to fuck and that wasn’t creepy because so did I!” She yells at me. “Now I won’t be getting laid—so no, you did not do me any favors.”

  Aggravated, I unlock my car, “I’m bringing you home. Get in the fucking car. You have to be up in a few hours and we have a long day tomorrow.” I leave the passenger door open while walking around to the driver side door.

  She stands outside the door for a moment before finally giving in. She slams the door shut before asking, “Why were you out tonight?”

  I ignore her question, “Where do you live?”

  “Woodlawn Avenue and you didn’t answer my question. Why were you out? Should you be driving? Have you had anything to drink?”

  “No, I didn’t drink. I’m fine to drive. Where on Woodlawn do you live?”

  “Baxel Apartments. Third floor. I can’t believe you carried me out of there without asking first. You’re such a dick.” She says angrily.

  “Yeah? Well, I can’t believe you were letting that predator smother you with his hands so I’d say were even.” I snap back.

  “Cant a girl get laid?”

  Conversation over.

  Done.

  I’m not going there because I know that if I do at this moment it will end in disaster. Jealousy races through me, an emotion I haven’t experienced in a long time. An emotion I have no right to feel because even though I feel jealousy, I have no right and no plan to have Rumer for myself.